Sunday, August 23, 2009

Career builders...

I've been looking for a new job. My last job ended abruptly when my boss decided it was a great idea to not pay payroll taxes and steal peoples 401(k) money. It really stinks because I enjoyed my last 2 day a week, do a whole lot of nothing and get paid for it bit. I have to say besides the lousy pay I really had it made there.
In my quest to find a job I've looked on several career sites that post jobs. Most are professional and respectable. I have found nothing. So, on advisement from a friend who is also looking for a job (she too was laid off due to our boss being a felon) I looked on a site that was a free for all - meaning you can buy a car, look for a job and rent a hooker - one stop Internet shop. To be fair this site had more jobs listed than the respectable sites mentioned earlier. However one in particular made me chuckle. It was for a part time admin. assistant position. The pay was pretty good and you really didn't have to have any prior experience. You did however need reliable transportation. I've never seen that listed before. Do you also need a permit to carry a concealed weapon? It may not be that funny to you but I found it humorous and a little scary. Not sure they're looking for someone with a college degree and a dependable minivan (I know I'm the epitome of classy). I think I may have to keep looking ;)
I would love to not work at all and create something that someone wants to buy from me so I can run a business out of my house. However, I'm not sure I make anything anyone would want to buy - especially since when I think I'm in the mood to create I get the supplies out and ready and then my ADD kicks in and it sits there until I clean it up and have the urge again. I suppose I'll find my calling soon. However, right now the baby is calling and that's my job of choice at the moment. However, if the screaming continues I may look into the job with reliable transportation - or the job where I can work the cash register at a convenience store (graveyard shift). Either sound tempting...

Thursday, August 13, 2009

A little sensitive...

OK - I'm going to be honest. The fact that no one EVER comments on my posts anymore is hurting my feelings. I understand that sometimes there is nothing to comment on - but a ha ha or a screw you would be nice every now and again. Just sayin...

Sunday, August 9, 2009


Grad school is already a giant pain in my side. No, I'm not going to Grad school. I could hardly make it through the 5.5 years I spent as an undergrad (however, if I took out the Thursday night party and the keg stands I might have had a snowballs chance of making it out of there with a decent GPA - but what fun would that have been). TC is starting grad school. For the next year and a half he will be attending classes 2 hours from Satan's Pants every other weekend. Every other weekend I will be home alone. Every weeknight I will be upstairs alone while TC studies in the basement. Everyday I will cuss him and that too expensive ridiculous school he is forking out thousands upon thousands of dollars to.
I realize I'm being selfish. This is not a post of if I am or am not selfish (this weekend alone I've been called selfish, bratty and ridiculous - to which I say bite me). This is a post griping about the fact that for the next year and a half I will basically be a single mom raising 3 kids and every time I ask for help I'm going to get an "I'm busy studying or working or getting your foot out of my ass".
Since Pres. Bo thinks it's important to essentially put my husband out of business with his top notch health plan then I suppose this is an important investment for us to make. Hopefully grad school will teach TC the things he needs to know to work in a field other than the one he's in and make a good living doing it (which he'll need to to pay of this ridiculous school - his diploma better be made of gold, diamonds or cash). If Pres. Bo changes his mind and decides to be bipartisan on his health care bill then this will teach TC how to excel in the field he's in. Either way win win right? Whatever...
I know it's only a year and a half. However, have you spent a year and a half with an almost 8 and 5 year old and thrown in a baby to mix it all up? If so my hat goes off to you and you're a better person than I am. I haven't and I had no intention of doing so. I enjoy staying home with my boys. I also enjoy giving them to their daddy for some R and R on my part (I know, call me selfish).
I give TC props for throwing grad school into his mix. I commend him for bettering himself and trying to make life for his family better. I just think this is going to be very difficult for me and the boys as well and will on occasion need to vent. So I'm starting now - go ahead and start getting some things off my chest. Here's my question - how my brattier am I going to get when he actually starts?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The last dance...

This past weekend TC stood up in - what I hope - is his last wedding. One of his best friends finally made the decision to settle down. We were the first - this is the last. I suppose since this was the last then the boys thought they should go out with a bang.
The rehearsal dinner was at a supper club. A supper club is a Midwestern word for old, smelly restaurant. Usually they've been around since the 60's, have the original furniture and the stale smoke smell from that era as well. They also usually have the same wait staff they started with and possibly the same bottles of liquor. They always serve fish - usually beer battered and fried- and there is possibly a marinated mushroom or a relish tray involved. They aren't my favorite places but to each his own.
One of my gripes about weddings up here are they are usually on Fridays (because that's convenient for everyone) and there is usually in excess of 2 hours between the ceremony and the reception. This wedding was luckily on a Saturday. However, the wedding was at 1:30 and the reception didn't start until 6. So, to waste time I bellied up to a bar and drank several margaritas to get the party started. I continued this through the dinner and into the dance. I was getting a little tipsy and dancing like an extra from Flash Dance when I realized I should probably slow it down or I was libel to show everyone my spanks and be truly embarrassed. Now, I'm not ashamed of wearing spanks. If they made them for arms I would wear those too. I also know some of my skinny bitch friends also use the spanks every now and again. However, being the drunk girdle girl was not at the top of my to-do list. So I switched to diet coke and continued on.
TC however did not stop. He continued to party like a rock star. He had some ridiculous conversations with the parents of the groom that I think may have embarrassed them and some "I love you man" moments with the other grooms men. I finally had to tell him enough was enough and I was driving him home. Since we ate at 6 and we danced until after midnight (I know - party freaking animals) TC was hungry and wanted to make a pit stop at Taco Bell. While there TC ordered 2 burritos and 2 cheese wraps. When we finally made it home and he embarrassed himself in front of his parents, he decided to chow down. Half way though his heart attack in a shell he asked me if any of this food was mine because he was sure he didn't order it. Oh for the love. Go to bed already and sleep until your hangover kicks in.
TC and I don't go out very often. We're usually order a pizza and watch The Soup kind of people. However, TC was in rare form Saturday night and I was glad I was sober enough to witness it. I'm also happy I was able to witness the last of the weddings - because I don't have the energy to party like a rock star again this weekend.

Monday, June 29, 2009

God Bless America...

We've started our summer off to a good start. The oldest has been in summer school taking tennis since school was out. This weekend we'll head to the cottage to visit with my husbands Godparents and their family for our traditional 4th of July extraveganza. We hit the small town parade and then have dinner later with family friends. I enjoy this tradition. However, I think I have a different version of tradition than everyone else. In my mind tradition means getting together with family and friends - every year - and every year celebrating with the parade and dinner. It does not mean to me that we have to sit in the same place at the parade, serve the same cocktail (always and bloody mary and don't EVEN think about something fruity) and at dinner eat the same thing every year whether anyone enjoys it or not. For some reason someone told the host that his baked beans were delicious and his chicken was juicy. They flat lied to his face and now I have to pretend I like it every year. The hostess makes a flag cake every year. I get that it's the 4th and that's appropriate but not everyone enjoys a cake made of cool whip. Serve something chocolate for those of us who have a sweeter tooth.
Yes, I've offered to bring something to the party and every year I hear - No we have it under control. I even feel like I have the same exact conversations with the guests every year. I guarantee there's a lady there who's going to ask me where I'm from and do I like it here. Maybe this year I'll change my answer.
Now there are things that we have every year at every party for every occasion. There's my moms chocolate cake for example. It's delicious so there's no need to deviate from perfection. However, I've heard through the grape vine that some people are getting tired of that (blasphemous). Just think haters, if you had to have the exact same meal with the cake every single time. GRRR!
I realize I'm a brat. They don't even have to invite me over and truth be told some years they probably don't want to. I have a slight habit of being moody and I tend not to hold back on that. I'm not ugly but it gets to be a long day and by the time dinner comes charred off the grill I've usually had enough. However, they're wonderful people so I'll try and keep it in check. Or I'll just drink all the bloody marys...
If I don't have time to post before the holiday I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe 4th of July. God Bless America! (By the way - we have to sing that every year too before we're allowed cool whip cake)...

Monday, June 15, 2009

I heart Edward!

I'm completely and irrevocably in love with Edward. I admit it - I can't help that I would cheat on my husband with a 17 year old FICTIONAL vampire. I'm putting him at the top of my laminated "list". My sister is buying me a shirt that says "Edward can break my bed anytime". BHAHAHA (book 4 honeymoon). I know it's dirty. Deal...
I finished the Twilight saga last week and I am so sad that it had to end. The author needs to keep writing the books so I can continue to be entertained. I mean they're immortal right? There has to be a lifetime worth of drama to write about. Maybe she can write about how that sparkly vampire cheats on his wife with a 34 year old stay at home mom of three. Swoon...
My husband is concerned - and rightfully so. It's not normal. He became the most concerned when I started book 1 all over again after finishing the saga. I think he's going to have me committed.
I think this is because I'm 1) old 2) bored 3) lonely and 4) apparently in the need of a secret crush and since Edward is fictional then Rob Pattinson will have to suffice. Jon Bon Jovi hasn't called yet and I've been secretly in love with him since 6th grade (now I'm really showing my age) and Keith Urban is still married to that skinny bitch with the personality of a Dorito so he's on notice as well.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the rest of my summer. I'm so sad to see Edward ride off into the sunset with his debbie downer wife. I'm hoping this phase will end and I can get back to being the mom and wife I was born to be. But until then you can find me on the Twilight fan pages chillaxing with the rest of my 14 year old Twilight peeps. Peace out...

Monday, June 8, 2009

Crash. Fly. Cold as crap!

I know I've become the worlds worst blogger. I suppose things were just going too well and I didn't have anything to gripe about. Things were just swimming along and I was blissfully unaware of all things negative. HOWEVER, things can change on a dime and now I'm one pissed off peach!
TC and I went to the beach last week. We had a great time. It was so nice to get away for a weekend sans kids and kick it 27 style in Destin. We layed by the pool, drank Coronas with lime and ate delicious sea food. However, this little second honeymoon was bookended by total crap. Before we left I wrecked the car. I know - the horror. The poor precious silver mini van was crushed by a 17 year old in a crapmobile trying to get back to school before 5th period. Who's fault was it? HIS! Although legally it was mine - DEVIL! When we got home from Florida we received word that this little fender bender actually totaled the van and I no longer have transportation around Satan's pants. Now Mr. 17 is going to have to sell me his hooptie so I can get from point A to point B (apparently without the fancy doors that open with the push of a button - so makes me want to cry).
As we were leaving for Destin we rolled up to the airport 29 minutes before our flight was taking off. Departing at 6:50 a.m. and traveling through the worlds smallest airport one would think this was acceptable. Apparently no. We missed to cut off to have our luggage placed under the plane. So Stupid! We had to put all of my stuff (from my giant suitcase) into TC's tiny suitcase. I had my clothes, carried on my makeup and bought toiletries in Destin. However, I did not have a blow dryer. Oh. My. Heavens - what a freaking mess. No blow dryer in Florida - talk about a frizzed out hunk of a straw. Needless to say there are no pictures of me from the trip. If there was it would be of a frizzy mess with her middle finger waving hello.
On the way back we made it to the airport in plenty of time. However, we sat at the airport for 5 hours waiting for glue to dry. I'm totally serious. There was something on the wing that needed to be glued and since it was raining the glue wouldn't dry. I read almost half of a 700 page book (by the way - I heart Edward) and watched Fox news before we ever got out. We finally made it to Atlanta, then had a layover in Detroit where I almost had to bitch slap a sassy lady who thought she owned the moving sidewalk, and then finally got a flight out to Satan's pants. We were suppose to be home at 3 p.m. and in time for soccer. Instead we got home at midnight and just a little frazzled. The airlines are EVIL and they need to be beaten.
Since all of this I've just been sitting at home watching the rain - It's 55 degrees in June here and I'm more than a little ticked off about it. I understand the south is hotter than blue blazes right now but come on - 55! That's just evil. I hate this place...

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Read the book...

Before I went to see pretty pretty Keith Urban yesterday the kids ran in a fun run (not sure why fun and run are in the same sentence but whatever) and then we went to breakfast with some friends. It's nice to get out once in a while and visit with people. The kids played, we drank coffee and talked. The wife has become a good friend of mine and I enjoy her company. However, sometimes I become exasperated with the things that come out of her mouth (which is a common feeling when hanging out with the ladies in this town - apparently they all seem to have diarrhea of the mouth).
We were having yet another conversation about the west side of this crapass town being better than the east side. This conversation seems to come up at least a dozen times a year while hanging out with different people that grew up here. Here's a tip - both sides are truly the epitome of horrible so move on. Anyway, as we're having this convo yet again I mentioned that a couple years ago we had to discuss this at length when we ran into TC's high school sweetheart at TJMaxx. My friend said "Oh, Pollyanna - she's so sweet". OK - hold the phone sweetheart. In the girlfriend handbook it clearly states that even if the ex is a doctor who feeds the homeless in her spare time she's still a whore. Either that or don't say anything at all. And no I don't care if it was 27 years ago the woman is still a beast.
I met this person - she's tiny, a nurse and seems to be pretty nice. However, if she hadn't cheated on TC in college and broken his heart there's a chance he could have beautiful dark headed children instead of the fair hairs he has. It ticks me off every time her stupid mug is in the paper about being a nurse practitioner - blah blah blah. All I want to read in the paper is that she was arrested for prostitution or caught in a ponzi scheme.
Am I jealous - apparently. Do I think I have anything to worry about - probably not. Does my friend need to worry about what kind of ugliness I'm cooking up for next time - you betcha! If her husbands ex wasn't a raving lunatic I would go on and on about how super fantastic she is.
My girlfriends in Atlanta wouldn't do this. They would agree that she was "bless her heart" wretched. People here don't seem to get that and it drives me crazy. If you think she's swell then just listen to the story and keep your pie hole shut. Or read, memorize and abide by the rules in the book. Or go be friends with a whore - I don't care...

Monday, May 4, 2009

Is there any body out there....

I'm pretty convinced no one is reading my blog - which is fine. I started this as cheap therapy and cheap therapy shouldn't involve having people read about my issues. Quite frankly, maybe you are reading the blog and your mama raised you that if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all - therefore, don't comment on the crazy peaches and cheeses blog. Fair enough.

I've become super dull. My life consists of driving to preschool, shopping at Target and the occasional night out at Moe's. The excitement of my weekend was that it was warm enough to venture outside instead of sitting my big 'ol butt on the couch and watching the Real Housewives of something (which by the way is my guilty pleasure - those crazy bats make me look normal). Aside from that and the occasional lunch with a girl friend, to gossip about those we may or may not like, I'm pretty boring and useless.

School will be out in a few weeks for my oldest and my middle baby gets out next week (I had youngest but had to go back and change - how weird to now have three). What the hell am I going to do with three boys home all summer? I'm exhausted just thinking about it. The problem with all this is my boys fight A LOT! They don't scream, yell and cry like sisters but they punch, kick, hit and smack each other usually for no apparent reason setting of a vicious cycle of wrestle mania. It's obnoxious. It seems that if they're bored then one is going to try and tick off the other. I can only handle so much before I feel like jumping in the middle and taking matters into my own hands. There are only so many summer school classes, swim lessons, and vacation bible schools they can attend. They still will be home for a good portion of every day. I think I need to start drinking immediately.

Aside from the fighting kids we've been pretty busy. We had the stupid Gala event again - GAG, we had a wedding to attend and we've had a couple of hot dates. One was out to dinner and then to a comedy club. Here's what I leaned at the comedy club. I'm no longer 22 and therefore should not stay out past 10 p.m., and I've become such a mommy that when the comedian used foul language I looked around to see if there were children present. I hate feeling old! This weekend we're going to a concert to see Keith Urban (yummy) and The Zac Brown Band - who by the way went to college with me. I remember going to listen to him sing, and I know he was a friend of a friend but I don't remember ever meeting him. However, college was a blur and for all I know we were besties and he's missing me terribly. At least that's what I'm telling people here. They don't need to know the truth. All they need to know is that I'm so hip, cool and southern that I am friends with Michael Johns from American Idol and Zac Brown from Zac Brown Band.

I think this session of Peaches and Cheese cheap therapy is over. I will attempt to come up with something clever to rant about in the near future. Until then - thanks for reading (or not) and have a great weekend!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The big blue bomb...

Every year I have to attend a gala for the snooty volunteer organization I belong to. This year was a little different - to make it less formal you could wear anything from jeans to a ballgown. In this economy we didn't want people to feel like they had to go buy a new dress to attend a fundraiser. Good idea possibly but it's amazing how far people will take the "not as formal" attire.
While I wore a spring dress and TC wore slacks and a button down (yes - TC was forced to attend and not super pumped about it) and thought I was pretty casual for the event, there were people who took casual too far. Jeans and un-tucked shirts did not belong at this event. The lady in the too tight dress with converse sneakers needed to be thrown out. The presidents husband who looked like a sausage in his too tight jeans should just have stayed home. Instead he got up on stage and gave a toast. So creepy.
I'm not trying to make fun of what people wear. I understand some people don't feel comfortable in strapless dresses and heels and would prefer to wear sneakers and jeans. However, if you're going to pay upwards of $75 a dinner then at least brush your hair and leave your zip up sweatshirt at home.
Even though they attempted to make the event less formal (instead they made it a mommy and me play date at the park) they neglected to make the event less stuffy. The doctors and their wives still thought their poop didn't stink, and the "old money" families still had their noses so high in the air you could see their pea sized brains. TC who is so easy to get along with and would try to talk to a tree stump was miserable. Luckily I only have 1 more year obligated to this group and then their on their own. They'll have to seek out a new super bratty, I no like-a you, southern girl with a bad attitude.
And to be nice - I'm not even going to mention the poor girl in the 1980's bridesmaid dress with the giant bow in the back and lace in the front. BHAHAHAHAHA!

Living the unemployment dream...

I've become a statistic. After having a baby and taking some time off ,I returned to my very stressful 2 day a week receptionist gig (stressful is totally sarcastic). After being back 2 weeks we were all called into a meeting regarding the direction of the company. Basically, the old CEO/owner had to declare personal and professional bankruptcy and would no longer be a member of our "team" and the 40 year old sales guy who thinks he's 27 with his long in front thinning hair was going to achieve financing to purchase the company and things would run business as usual..
Famous last words.....
The following week I receive a phone call from the office manager that I would be put on temporary layoff for a month or so until they could work the kinks out. Everyone who did not have billable hours would be laid off. Those that did have billable hours would stay and just not get paid. Yeah - that sounds like a heck of a deal. So here I am all unemployed, collecting my unemployment and eating brownies living the unemployment dream.
The problem with all of this is the way it was all handled. Apparently Mr. Combover CEO (not to be confused with thinning hair who thinks he's CEO material but really he's a grown man with ADD) was not paying his taxes. Now I know this is OK in the Obama administration, but apparently in the real world they take everything from you if you neglect to pay your taxes. He was also taking peoples money out of their checks for their flex plan and 401k (or 101k in this market) and not contributing it - which is apparently against the law for anyone. Even though he was using the money to make payroll every month doesn't make it OK. Especially when he came to us in the meeting all crying and crap because the economy did this. NO COMBOVER- THE ECONOMY DIDN'T DO THIS TO YOU OR YOUR COMPANY - THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A FELON DID THIS..... The economy is crap right now however, if you do not pay your taxes and do not contribute to peoples investments then you're going to get caught and your going to get in trouble - with the law (so stupid).
Now I actually like Mr. Combover. He's an idiot but I don't think he's evil. Mr ADD however is going to run the new company into the ground pronto. It's now coming towards the end of the illusive "month" that I was going to be laid off. I'm not expecting a phone call needing me to come back. They haven't secured any financing and more than half of those "billable" people decided not to return. So now I'm out to find another 2 day a week, light on the stress heavy on the pay job. If you hear of one please let me know - I'll be on the couch watching Paranormal State until you do...

Monday, April 20, 2009

Sorry it's been so long...

Wow, it's been a while. One one hand I've been super busy - working, shopping, facebooking, and taking care of three boys. On the other hand I haven't done anything that I figure anyone really cares to read about. Most of you can guess that I've been knee deep in screaming children, poopy pants and crappy weather. So, I just didn't see any reason to bore you with stories about all of that.

I started this blog as cheap therapy. If I could vent about all things Satan's Pants then maybe I could have a better attitude about it. Truth be told I still don't have a great attitude, but I enjoy writing things down and hearing from "readers" who either agree with me or at least think it's entertaining. Not to mention I get a hearty chuckle out of myself from time to time to make it all worth it.

Since it's been so long I think I should just up date you on what's been going on. The baby is great. He's a lousy sleeper but his sweet little smiles make up for that. We had a scare last month where they thought his skull was prematurely fused together and would require surgery. We had to have x-rays taken and when they turned out inconclusive we had to have a baby cat scan. Talk about sick at your stomach, wanting to puke craziness. We had the x-rays taken on a Monday afternoon. After calling every day that week the doctors office finally called me back on Friday morning to tell me the x-rays were inconclusive. I was one ticked off mama. We had to schedule a cat scan and they couldn't get us in until the following Wednesday. After the scan we had to wait another few days before they called to let me know everything was OK. On the one hand I was super happy that nothing is wrong with my precious baby. On the other I wanted to key the car of every nurse, doctor and radiologist that made me wait two weeks until I finally received news.

We spent Easter in Atlanta and it was awesome being home. TC traveled with us (no way in Satan's Pants was I going to travel with the three boys alone) so we acted like we were tourists and did things in Atlanta that I had never done. It's amazing what you don't do in a city when you live there. In the 26 years I lived in Atlanta I had never been to the Cyclorama or Oakland Cemetery. Now I can check them off of my list. We went to a hockey game, ate at the Varsity and visited with family. It was a great visit. Next time TC comes down we'll go to the World of Coke and maybe the aquarium. And while I'm there I'm going to wear my bright pink I heart ATL shirt and talk like a Midwesterner so I can truly be a tourist!

That's really all that's going on in my life right now. I'm knee deep in all things boys and I'm exhausted. I miss blogging and I miss the comments so I'll try to get back into the groove of things. If it's a while again though please don't be disappointed - just bear with me.

Friday, February 27, 2009

I like big butts and I cannot lie...

Throughout my pregnancy I had a deal with the nurses and midwife that the number on the scale would NEVER be uttered. I did not want to know where I was beginning or where I ended. If there was an issue they could let me know but other than that mum was the word. I truly became a bit bratty about it. I was aware that I didn't start out my pregnancy thin and I knew for a fact I wouldn't end up that way because I don't "nest" during pregnancy I eat and watch TV.
Today I had my six week after birth appointment. Super fun. I decided that I would check the number on the scale today - just to get a jumping off point for a possible weight loss goal. Bad idea. The big, fat roly poly number ruined my day. Also, come to find out, I actually weigh less right now then I did when I started. My fat butt is actually smaller than it was a year ago!
Now, I'm not a giant woman. I'm actually pretty normal really (if normal is XXL I suppose). However normal stinks when I still need to lose 20 lbs. to be "ideal" and apparently an entire person if I want to be Kate Moss.
Now, I will NEVER tell you or anyone else what the number on the scale was today. I'm always surprised when ladies tell their weight. TC says I should work for NASA because I've kept my weight so secret and would rather take a beating than reveal it. Those people at the fair that "guess the weight" can kiss my butt - unless they want to guess 105 and then I'll pay extra. The fact that I actually know the number right now is a lot and pretty much stinks!
To be honest I have zero ambition right now to diet. I'm actually ALWAYS hungry and constantly want to eat. I try and tell myself that's because I'm nursing and burning extra calories. However, I think it's just because I'm piggish and bored. As much as I love my new bundle of joy and his brothers I'm not exactly having a rip roaring good time right now. I rarely interact with adults and I don't get any time to myself, so the idea of then depriving myself of chocolate seems silly to me. I try to just not buy sweets - or really food in general - but I lose that battle often (since I have to feed my family but whatever).
It's just so annoying. So, to stop being annoyed I'm going to go eat 27 pieces of pizza, down some M&M's and swig some diet coke. That will show my butt who's in charge...

Thursday, February 26, 2009

40 daisies daisies...

It is officially Lent. That may not mean anything to some of you but to someone living in Satan's Pants, AKA home of Catholics (which almost makes me feel bad for typing Satan's Pants right before Catholics but whatever) that means time for Ash Wednesday, Friday Fish and a 40 day "sacrifice".
Ash Wednesday was yesterday. On Ash Wednesday and every Friday between now and Good Friday Catholics like TC are not suppose to eat meat - only vegetarian dishes and fish. TC and his family thinks this is quite fun - I find it annoying. I didn't grow up Catholic - Lutheran actually - but when I go out to lunch or dinner on a Friday I don't need ugly eyes on me because I want a juicy burger and not a piece of lake perch. Gag. I don't really find it that super fun to order up a fried piece fillet o' yuck just because everyone else grew up Catholic. I get the symbolism - but I think it's silly. Whatever floats your boat I guess - HA!
Last night TC asked the boys what they were giving up for Lent. He explained to them that God gave up his son for us and to show gratitude we give up something during Lent. Of course little bit said poop (everything is poop) but the older child sat at the table and proceeded to cry. He did NOT want to give up anything. I found this ridiculous and typical. It's not like anyone expects him to give up food and water for 40 days or talking (all though that's not a bad thought). I mean an after school snack or a toy or something would be fine. First he decided he would give up the Wii. After thinking about that for approx. 2 minutes he changed his mind. No way is he giving up his Mario Cart Racing for 40 days. He's now settled on his after school snack. However, when he gets home this afternoon I'm sure we'll have waterworks when he's hungry. I'll give him an opportunity to change it again - but then it has to stick or I'll decide for him. As far as my now middle child, poop probably won't work. I'm not sure what TC is giving up but I've apparently given up sleeping and showers. If that doesn't count there's always alligator wrestling and underwater basket weaving...
**I totally called it - the big one came home and said he was thirsty. I reminded him that he wasn't getting a snack because he had given them up for Lent. He was OK with it. Then about an hour later he came upstairs and was sneaking around in the kitchen - he snuck a granola bar and put it in his pocket. He was totally busted. Then about 2 seconds later the tears came and the I'm so hungry sob story started. He's thinking about a change...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Things I've realized today:

I know it's been a while since I've posted. However, since I'm in a semi decent mood today I thought I would grace you with my brattiness. Why only semi decent you ask? Because: 1) I haven't slept since sometime during the second trimester 2) It's cold as crap - again and I've had quite enough 3) keep reading...
1) I love my new school bus. It's not really a school bus but it's a awfully large and in charge brand spankin' used mini-van. This is my third. I know some of you are saying "ewww" but really it's heaven. It's a bit roomier than my last van ( I know, hard to belive) and all the doors open with the push of a button. My first van I had to open all the doors myself - the horror, and my last one only one opened with a button. This monstrosity has three doors that open. I don't have to lift a freaking finger. And why should I have to?
I know you're thinking that I have to be too cool for a mini-van and you would be right. I should be trekking around in a boat sized SUV like all the other super cool mommies, but I have a hard time parking vehicles and I've wrecked my fair share of cars. So, driving around in a boat is not an option. Not to mention that paying for the gas in one of those these days is ridiculous. So, I have to settle with being cool in a mini-van. I can totally pull that off because I'm awesome.
2)The infant loves country music! Caboose is a gassy mess and there is nothing I can do for him in the middle of the highway so, we try the loud music trick to "soothe" him - aka - stop the insanity. Today, George Strait calmed him down. So, George is my hero. He's always been one of my hero's - watch Pure Country and he'll be one of yours too with "All the Smoke and the Lights".
3) I don't like grocery shopping during the geriatric hour. I'm not trying to be ugly - I enjoy older people. I hope to be an older person someday that gets to hang out at the grocery store and drive the youngsters crazy. However, there is just no reason to block the aisles and not move. Meemaw and Peepaw need to keep on going. Also, if you insist on driving around the grocery store in your Rascal then at least put the pedal to the metal and get moving! Just because you have all day to hang out and visit with old friends at the local grocery store, I don't. I have babies to feed and pre-schoolers to pick up and TV to watch. Cold Case Files is not going to watch itself people!
4) Just because you're a fancy store does not mean that I want to pay your stupid inflated prices. I went to a baby shower this weekend. The mommy to be received a lot of cute gifts that I thought caboose would enjoy. So I stopped by the store she registered at today to possibly pick one or two up for the baby. However, the prices were so unbelievable high for a dang rattle that I decided he could live without them. While I was there though the owner was having a meeting and talking about how the economy was hurting everyone. Here's a tip buddy - lower your prices and people will buy your products. Satan's Pants has very few kid stores and if you would come off your high horse we'd stop shopping at Target and Wal-Mart and give hoity toity a chance.
That's it for today - baby is screaming. Need to find some more George...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Catch up

I know I've been a horrible blogger lately. I'll be honest - I'm too tired and don't really have anything interesting to tell ya'll about. However, I'm sure you all want to hear how life with three little boys is going so I'll fill you in:
Caboose had jaundice. He had to be put on a "billy blanket" to cure him of the ailment. Also, he wasn't gaining weight even though he was eating quite regularly. We had to run a lot of tests to figure out what was going on. End result - no one knows. Now it's only going to cost me $500 for the doctors to "practice medicine".
Last week I had the stomach flu. Yes, having the stomach flu with two young boys and an infant is super fun. I would have rather gone through labor again - true story. I'm truly thankful that I was the only one here to get sick. The only thing worse that being sick is having to clean up everyone else's sick.
I haven't slept much. Caboose thinks it's more fun to sleep all day and eat all night. We've had battles with gas keeping him up so my new best friend is the gas drop. He eats like a piggy every 2.5 hours at night and I'm exhausted. The only thing that makes all this worse is when he decides it's a good idea to tinkle on me while I'm half asleep trying to change his diaper. However, it's very rewarding when he's full and happy and has a slight grin on his face as he lays in his cradle and sleeps (I guess at least one of us is happy).
Other than all this and two other children who are trying my patients things here in Satan's Pants are sunshine and rainbows. Right now we're all just thinking spring and hoping the groundhog was wrong last week when he saw his shadow.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

New chapter...

I'm baaaaack...... At least until I crash - which could be any minute now. I haven't "slept" since 27 weeks gestation and since I've had the baby I've slept less than usual. On the upside I've been a lot more comfortable and haven't had to go to the bathroom every 27 seconds. On the down side I'm beyond exhausted and not sure if I've brushed my teeth today (or yesterday) and hope everyone likes the outfit I have on because I've had it on for days and don't see an end in sight (I don't have a lot that fits and unless I buy every color of velor track pants you'll have to deal with the black and blue pair). However, I have the most adorable little boy and he's worth it. Now, call me at 2:30 a.m. and see if I still have that stellar attitude.
Labor and delivery went fine. I'm not going to sugar coat it for everyone that hasn't gone through it -It's no piece of cake. However, if you time your epidural right it's not so bad. I had the cutest British anesthesiologist with the cutest accent (he liked mine to by the way). I was so embarrassed when he asked me my weight -grrr. I was going to lie but the nurse had my chart so she would have called me on it. Also, I think if I had given him a bogus number that was too light then I wouldn't have had the correct ratio of meds to fat and that could have been bad. After that I got a little sick and anxious - like I was having a panic attack in slow motion and had to take a little nap to gain back my strength. I wasn't sure if I would have been able to push in the state I was in. When it came time to have the baby and push I pushed him out in 5 minutes flat and now here we are! TAA DAA!
The hospital stay was fine. The nurses and people are super nice and they try to make your stay comfortable. Operative word here is try. Every morning someone wakes you up to take blood - like at 5:30 in the morning. The nurses come in and want to take blood pressure etc. throughout the day as well starting at the crack of dawn. They are stingy with their pain meds and want to watch you nurse your baby to make sure you're doing it right. I've had two other kids - I think I can nurse - and I clearly don't need an audience.
We're home now. Baby has his days and nights mixed up and mommy's hormones are in flux. I don't have a lot of energy right now but I'm stabilizing. I cry over everything and the bank crisis has me on edge again. Hopefully soon we'll all be on a "schedule" and feeling better. I'm super happy to be finished with pregnancy, labor and delivery and happy to start the new chapter as mommy of three boys. Wish us all luck :)

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sweet Child o' mine...

I found out today that Wednesday is C day - as in Caboose day. It looks like me and my snarky attitude/mood swings/swollen ankles are heading to the hospital bright and early to be induced. This will be baby boy #3 induced exactly 2 weeks before his due date. I'm all for it - in case you didn't realize it I'm not the worlds most pleasant pregnant person - however, I believe I will be delivering my last child (dear God PLEASE) on the coldest January day in the last 15 years here in Satan's Pants. Only a child of mine would decide that was a great idea. It doesn't matter if he comes a day early or a day late - the next three are ridiculously cold and maybe it's better that I just stay in a nice hospital room where nurses and doctors are nice to me instead of trying to navigate around - in my cape - in the stupid cold. Poor Nana. She's heading up tonight. I hope she brings her Alaska clothes...
Little bit and I went shopping and to lunch today. I'm not sure he realizes how much his world is about to change. Last week he said his teachers wanted to know if the baby was here yet. He said "is it?". That's not a good sign. However, he's a sweetie so I think he'll be able to adjust. The big one will be fine. He'll now have 2 to boss around. Plus I'm hoping to bribe them both into being helpful. Wishful thinking I know, but maybe I'll get lucky...
So, if I don't blog again for a while you will know why. Until then, take care and peace out!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Black, Silver and White...

So, I'm in 100% bitch mode right now. Yes, I admit it - I'm evil. In my mind I have every right to be right now and if you disagree - well then bite me. However, I'm not going to use this post to fill you in on the misery that is pregnancy - I have other things up my craw right now.
I'm obsessed with facebook. I go on ALL THE TIME. It has been so super fun for me to re-connect with old friends from high school and college and some other people I've met along the way. I love stalking everyone and seeing what they're doing and pictures of their spouses, kids etc. What I love the most though is that if I'm "friends" with someone and they comment on one of their "friends" pictures I get to see them. That's the best. However, it's also a little sad - for everyone involved.
I have several "friends" who were super sweet, cheerleader types that I got a long with fine. They have a friend who I truly disliked in high school and I can safely say I don't like her much right now either even though I haven't laid eyes on her since 1993. I'm still pretty sure she was only popular because she was kind of slutty. I just really don't see any other reason anyone would have liked her. She had no redeeming qualities then, I'm sure she doesn't have any now either. Anyway, she is constantly using her scanner to scan pictures of middle school and high school and sending them out. I'm not in any of them - we weren't friends, but they're hilarious and really take you back. However, I'm beginning to wonder if she's obsessed with this time in her life because her time now isn't working out for her. She still has her maiden name - I'm assuming either someone wised up and divorced her or no one wants to marry her, all her "friends" went to high school with us which means she has no friends from later in her life- apparently she wasn't the queen bee in college, or didn't go because she's an idiot, and her hair still looks the same - which is bad since we were in high school in the 90's.
I'm not saying that it isn't fun to see old friends and old pictures - I DO NOT want to see any of me (middle school was the beginning, not end, of my awkward years). I also think it's right funny to remember that people would wear those hideous outfits and tease their hair like that and go out thinking they looked pretty. I just think she needs to step away from the scanner and get a life.
Maybe I wouldn't be this hateful if I felt better. Maybe I would even ask her to be my "friend". However, chances are I would be this evil regardless. I don't really hope she's miserable - my mama raised me better than that - I just think she may be on par with Bratness McSlut (who by the way is a "friend" on facebook - HA).
That's all for now. I have no more energy and I have to potty for the 1247th time today, and my head hurts. I feel confident with my new "attitude" something will annoy me tomorrow and if I haven't induced my own labor I may just blog about to make myself feel better. TTFN!