Saturday, November 22, 2008

Stupid dog...

I lied - I thought that I wouldn't be blogging again until after the holiday - but I'm so boiling mad/relieved right now that I just had to post - and try to bring down my blood pressure. My beloved dog ran away tonight. Yeah, yeah he's back and fine but not until I had flipped out and almost had a heart attack! You have to know my dog. He loves me very much. Either that or I eat a lot and he wants to be next to me in case I decide to share. Regardless, he's always under my feet and he likes it there. He prefers to go outside - potty - and come right back in. He follows me to the bathroom, bed and everywhere else. So why pray-tell he would run away beats me.
Tonight I was putting up the Christmas stuff. I let the dog out, packed up a box of fall decor and went to let him back in. He wasn't there. He also wasn't in the back yard and didn't come when I called. I put on my slippers - in 20 degree weather - and walked around the house looking for him. I couldn't find him. I went in and grabbed a flashlight thinking maybe he was playing one of his "games". Still didn't see him. I yelled for him (no, I don't care if the neighbors were sleeping - my freaking dog was missing). Then I went 100% bat poop crazy...
As I mentioned before my husband is out of town. So, I had to wake the kids up, got them re-dressed, put them in the van and go looking for the dog. No, I did not have any idea which way he would have gone or where he might be, but I couldn't stay in the house and hope for the best - it's 20 freaking degrees and even my furry best friend knows how stupid that is! I parked at every second house and got out and searched with my flashlight (again - don't care) and then I did the unthinkable. I called my husband, who is stuck on an island, hunting (yes, I know stupid) and started crying over the phone demanding that he tell me where my dog is (he didn't know - go figure). TC said to leave the light on in the garage and listen for him to scratch on the door. Great idea honey! I'll just sleep on the kitchen floor tonight and hope for the best. Whatever. I then decided to walk down towards the lake and see if he tried to go in the water (yes he's a lab but he hates to swim - it was a last resort kind of thing). I'm not sure what I was going to do in this instance - I suppose throw him a raft. I then also flipped out thinking that if he didn't come home tonight he would be outside tomorrow morning, freezing, when the blaze orange hunters got up and they might think he was a white tailed doe (you know, because he doesn't have horns). I decided to make one more lap around the neighborhood when I saw the idiot dog. He ran to the van and tried to jump in the front seat - with me. Apparently dummy was as scared as I was (however, he didn't wake up the kids or call TC but whatever).
So, I have found my dog. I've also scared my children, caused my husband to loose his buzz and tripled my blood pressure. However, I don't care. I have my dog - right by my feet where he belongs.

Deer Widows Weekend

This weekend the people of Satan's Pants call two things - The beginning of deer hunting week or Deer Widows Weekend. Either way it means the boys are hunting (and some ladies too if you enjoy traipsing through the bitter cold in head to toe blaze orange) and the ladies are left to their own devises -shopping, drinking, eating - and not necessarily in that order. Usually I enjoy these weekends. Typically I find a sitter and go to a movie or out to dinner with friends. This year I'm home - alone - bored.
Not that I don't have a to do list from here to Georgia. I do. I just don't have the energy or desire. I wanted to decorate for Christmas (minus the tree), clean the house, make a grocery list, and start/finish my Christmas cards. So far I've attempted to clean the house, I've rummaged through the basement to find my Christmas decor and I've thought real hard about the list and cards. Maybe tomorrow I'll think about them again...
This week is going to be a monster of a busy week. I have a conference with both boys teachers, I have a Thanksgiving feast at work (we're having hot beef - who the heck has hot beef for Thanksgiving) and I have my to do list all before my parents come Wednesday night. If I don't get my list accomplished I hope they aren't disappointed with a half decorated house and no food. I can live off Rice Krispies and diet coke - why can't they.
If I don't have time to blog during the next week or so I hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving. For everyone traveling - stay safe. For everyone staying home, enjoy yourself and for goodness sakes don't have hot beef!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Still looking...

It's getting cold here in Satan's Pants - and we all know how I feel about that. I think it stinks! I missed summer this year being sick and immobile, tried to enjoy fall until the credit crisis hit, the democrats took over all aspects of Washington and a recession freaked me out to the point that I've read EVERY report imaginable trying to figure out when this will end and what I can do to keep afloat (apparently nothing - the reports have titles like Worst Christmas Season ever, Dismal 2009, We're all going down blah blah blah). It's been very difficult to become motivated to do anything when I have to tote around my laptop to check the DOW and see what CNN and Fox news has for my reading enjoyment...
Enough about that. So, this year I'm as big as a house and cold. Obviously my coat doesn't fit. I was going to buy a bigger size but I wasn't positive that would work or be worth the money. I'm not sure how much bigger I'll get (apparently 10 more cm according to earth mother mid-wife) or if a size or two will work (I refuse to buy a coat bigger than that - I have my limits). I also don't want to waste the money on a coat that I'll only wear for a couple month. Instead of a coat then my mom talked me in to buying a cape. Can you say RIDICULOUS! I wore it for the first time yesterday. I'm one tam away from looking like my grandmother! TC called me Count Duku, and I think the boys are discussing if I look like Batman or the Joker. To make matters worse, they've only seen the black side. This bad boy is reversible - it's bright red on the other side. If ANYONE says anything about me looking like a Christmas ball if I wear the red side I swear they'll regret taking the breath to say that. I'm the worst pregnant woman ever and I don't need the criticism from people I may or may not even like just because I look ridiculous. However, I stimulated the economy by buying that heap of fabric so stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
I'm putting up the Christmas decorations this weekend. Don't judge! TC is out of town and it seemed like the perfect time to get it done. I'm not putting up the tree or garland yet - I'll wait until my dad gets here next weekend and give him a project - like fix us some coffee while we watch TC put up the tree :) I remember a lot of swear words as a youngster while my dad fought with the tree and the lights. I think it's only fair that he is around to observe the same from TC. Although, TC would say shucks or crumps or something polite like that. He's nice and I become impatient and start throwing things and yelling. Maybe this year I won't have the energy to throw things. I've been told I'm no longer allowed to yell. Whatever... I'll stop yelling when you move me someplace warm and happy where the people say ya'll and ma'am. Until then cover your flippin ears and fix the economy!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Where is my happy place?

So, the election is over - thank goodness. The phone has barely rang since Tuesday. I'm actually kind of lonely. Now instead of the commercials being political they're Christmas! I would say it's too early for that but I'm decorating the house next weekend so why not get in the spirit. My mom and dad are coming to Satan's Pants for Thanksgiving and to celebrate Christmas so I figured I would go ahead and have it (almost) finished. Also, since the election is over and my guy lost, a little Christmas spirit should help with the depression running through the house. We can take a month to reflect on something and someone else more important.
I really don't have a lot to say. I'm SUPER BUMMED about the election. I really hope that the President Elect is either going to change some of his policies or come to his senses. I hope that he realizes almost 1/2 the country does not agree with him and if he wants to run again in 4 years he needs to be more centered. I hope the good things he's promised he'll follow through with. I hope Nancy Pelosi is put in her place and told to shut up and get that stupid grin off her face before I slap her into next Thursday (OK, I'm being nasty I'll stop).
I've taken a week to try and deal with some of these issues before I ranted about them but I'm still ticked, scared and worried about the state of my country. I'm concerned for the future of my children, myself, my husbands job (which is in health care - as in Health Insurance) and the future of everyone I care deeply about. I'm concerned that my husband is going to go off the deep end and take me with him. I'm worried that my midwife isn't going to let me take any meds for my irrational behavior. I'm worried that I may have to hit TC in the face with a stick (and if I do - he TOTALLY deserves it).
I wasn't going to rant about politics here. I realize some of my "readers" may feel differently than I do. I do not mean to offend. However, this is my blog and if you don't like it you don't have to read it. Hopefully soon I'll feel like writing a what not to wear blog and we can be friends again then. This is my place to get things off my chest - deal...
Now, I'm not saying that the current administration has done a bang up job. They have not. However, I always thought the trickle down effect worked a lot better than the trickle up. I guess though if after the inauguration TC's job is eliminated, we have to sell our beautiful home and live in a shack then I will come to appreciate the spread the wealth. Who though is going to have the wealth to spread - not us - it's been taken it away.
OK enough - everyone think of rainbows, puppies and babies and feel better. I'm going to go do my breathing exercises and see if I can find my happy place. I promise my next post will be more uplifting - for you anyway. TTFN!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Stop calling - I'm voting!

Now that Halloween is over we have to start focusing on voting Tuesday. I'm ready to stand in line to cast my vote - Satan's pants doesn't offer early voting - even if it's against the opinion of many. As nervous as I am about the state of the country (more after Tuesday than right this minute - however, I'm not "discussing" my politics here so no one needs to get their panties in a wad) I'm REALLY looking forward to Wednesday when it's all over.
I'm am registered with my party. I am not registered as an independent but have aligned myself straight party. My husband is registered as an independent (although with this election he makes me look more Nancy Pelosi to his Newt Gingrich which is scary) as he doesn't want to be aligned with a certain party (come on TC, but on your big boy pants and declare yourself). Between the two of us we've given in the hundreds of dollars to "MY" party (I know, I know we're awesome) to help with their election. Our presidential candidate and congressional candidates have used our hard earned money to make their awesome commercials, clever print ads and automated telephone calls.
I've HAD IT with the phone calls. One would think that if I've registered with a certain party that party wouldn't have to call me 270 times a day. You've got my vote - call someone else! I could almost see the opposite party calling - maybe seeing if I've changed my vote, maybe they can persuade me to change my vote - however, they've only called a handful of times. My party won't stop calling! They need to take my $100 dollars and call someone else. I know they aren't calling to persuade TC - he signed the checks! Prank call the idiots down the street for all I care but STOP CALLING ME! I don't even pick up the phone anymore. Today is Saturday, 10 a.m., and I've already gotten a call. I could recycle political mail into bricks and build a house. And if I hear "I approve this message" one more time I'm going to throw one of the bricks at the TV (luckily we have Tivo so I just pause and fast forward).
I'm looking forward to this all being over. I'm hoping not to have to hear about it from EVERYONE - neighbors, people at work, the poor kids who don't understand, and the campaigns themselves. I'm hoping to getting back to focusing on other things like do the boys want a Millennium Falcon or an AT- TE for Christmas (I have no idea what either of them are but I've heard almost as much about them as I have McCain and Obama) and does the caboose really need to kick me as hard as he does.
Everyone needs to vote. It's very important and is part of your civic duty. You can't complain if you don't vote - and everyone knows I'll need an excuse to complain. So,do your part, cast your vote and be proud to be an American!