Monday, September 29, 2008

Hello again, hello..

Sorry it's been so long. I've been super busy and haven't had a lot of time to rant - or really anything to rant about. Sure, some things have ticked me off - like the fact that comfortable shoes have to be ugly, UGA got their butts kicked by (I can't even say the name) and the economy is in shambles. Other than that I'm good.
My parents came for a quick visit last weekend. We had a nice time. We went to the farmers market, watched my oldest "play" football - he ran the wrong direction when he was quarterback so I wouldn't necessarily say he played. We ate - a lot - and watched football. We also took a trip up North to show my parents the AWESOME campground known as Yogi Bear. Worse -than - expected. For those of you who know my mom she has some photo's. Ingles Nook, please look at your own risk. I'm afraid you might wet your pants. I wasn't lying when I said that there was a giant Yogi bear statue in the front. As it turns out, there is also a lovely grouping of statues on top of the welcome center. So ridiculous! I think we've talked TC out of getting a camper and going to Yogi Bear - at least for a year. My dad asked him why he would want to go with a 5 month old. I guess he hadn't thought about that (duh). He's put off looking for a camper for a year. Hopefully I can come up with another reason next year as to why going to Yogi Bear and sleeping in a camper 10 feet away from another family (who may or may not have teeth or bathe) is not my idea of fun.
The baby is beginning to kick. Actually, baby is playing soccer in my tummy. As baby gets bigger I feel safe in saying he will probably kick harder and more often. I think the caboose and I need to have a little talk. I'm just over 5 months, already a little uncomfortable, fat as a house, and a bit cranky about the whole thing. I realize things get worse - I'm a professional at this now - but I'm not sure anyone can handle my attitude getting worse. Note to caboose - cool it with the kicks. They hurt mommy...
Everyone else is doing fine. The oldest is now a tiger scout and selling popcorn if you need any. He sold $160 worth at the Kwik Trip Saturday (true story - he and his dad set up a table outside and badgered people going in and out of the store). He's very proud of his accomplishment (as am I). I wouldn't have done as well. I don't like to sell things - just buy them. The little one and I are going to pick apples tomorrow with his school. He's quite excited. I have a feeling this may be a bit of a nightmare - he has no fear and I see him climbing the apple trees - but I think it will be fun. Good time, good times.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Ultrasound

Yesterday I had my ultrasound. I was super nervous. The first two times I was more concerned with the sex. I assumed the baby was fine and all we needed to know was if I needed to buy pink or blue. This time being older and wiser (stop laughing Jill) I knew there were more important things to be concerned with. Did my baby have downs, was there a spinal problem, was the brain formed and functioning... I was terrified. Thankfully everything looks great. Baby doesn't like to cooperate though to have measurements taken. Keeps putting hands to the face- go figure it's one of mine...
For those of you who are worried about my negativity you need not worry. I'm really not this pessimistic. I'm just sarcastic by nature and it may be coming across as negative. I do hate Satan's Pants - that's not negative it's pure fact. It can't be helped. I do find most people annoying. Again, just a characteristic I've always had. Get out of my way and we'll be fine. Stop in the middle of the mall and we'll have problems. And no, I don't enjoy being pregnant. I'm not sure what crazy person actually does (and if you say "oh, I did" then you're the crazy one not me). You're sick, fat and ugly - what is there to like. However, if I didn't enjoy the outcome I wouldn't do it. The negativity regarding pregnancy washes away as soon as baby is sleeping through the night - kidding.
Now back to being me - the appointment yesterday was HORRIBLE. The ultrasound was great. The technician was hilarious and I enjoyed laying in a dark room with nothing to do except watch my baby swim for an hour. After the appointment is when it got bad. The last time I had a baby I had him at the same hospital. I had my ultrasound and the doctor came in and said everything looked fine and we left. Since I figured this is what would happen again I asked my husband to stick around with me to make sure. The nurse took us to a room to wait for the doctor and then - SHE MADE ME WEIGH IN!!!!!!!!! What kind of crap was that! My weight is a closely guarded secret. It's never uttered. The Pentagon should look into hiring me I've kept this secret so tight. I screamed at my husband to get out. I tried to have the tiny nurse to physically remove him from the room. She wouldn't - bratness. It took a lot of begging to get me on the scale. She promised she wouldn't let him look and promised not to even tell me (I have no idea what I weigh or how much I've gained and unless it gets out of hand one way or the other I prefer to keep it under wraps). TC was flabbergasted with my behavior. Seriously? I thought I was quite myself. After the weigh in debacle she had the nerve to want to take my blood pressure. After that fiasco I would have assumed it had just shot through the roof. It was actually fine. She however probably slipped the doctor a note letting him know his next patient needed to be admitted - soon.
***By the way - we still don't need to buy any pink *** the caboose is a precious baby boy!***

Sunday, September 14, 2008

How about a pic-a-nic basket?

Lately my husband and I have been trying to come up with creative ideas on how to spend more quality time with our children. I say shop, he says otherwise. TC would like to buy a camper and camp. Now, I'm OK with this (I think). Just because I'm a city girl doesn't mean I can't camp (however, do keep in mind that my idea of roughing it was sitting on a blanket at Stone Mountain Park listening to the rednecks scream Yee-Haw when Robert E. Lee broke his sword during the laser show). I think I could hang.
When my husband was younger his family had a camper and during the summer would take cool trips to places like Boston and Washington D.C. as well as hang out around Satan's Pants and go North for the the weekends (not sure how much farther north we can go without leaving America). This sounds interesting to me. However, my husbands mom and dad were both teachers so they had their summers free to go on these types of trips. My husband works constantly so there would probably be no week in D.C. and then head on up to Maine kind of thing.
Here is his solution. Buy a camper. Not one you drive but one you haul with a big truck. Park it at a camp ground called Yogi Bear and pay $2000 to stay ALL FREAKING SUMMER. I'm actually speechless about this. He's so excited - he's been researching campers, camp grounds, where to store it in the winter and everything else we would need for this great adventure. I'm trying not to burst his bubble - he's already said that this is about our children not about me (whatever), but come on. I'm just not sure how excited I am about spending the summer with some crazies at Yogi Bear park swimming in their pool, playing shuffle board and doing arts and crafts every weekend of the summer.
Now, I've actually never been to this campground. It could very well be super. However, I see toothless families with rusty campers hanging out drinking beer and burping while their kids run around with dirty faces in their diapers. I see a lot of fights between me and hubby about why I won't socialize with our "neighbors" or why I'm not having a super good time sleeping 5 deep in a 400 sq. foot camper. Or why I think the bug zapper looks a bit tacky hanging right by our "bedroom" window.
I'm having a hard time putting my head around this. In order to not spoil his fun I've been nice and not said anything too ugly. I know he's excited about taking the boys to do something that he use to do as a child. I get that. After a year maybe I can convince him to move the cinder blocks and try something different. However, if he for a minute thinks that this is my cup of tea, sitting at a park with a giant Yogi and Boo Boo statue then he doesn't know me very well at all. Plus, how many times to the "residents" really want to hear my joke about a pic-a-nic basket?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Proper Mall Behavior

This morning the big ones flag football game was called off due to rain. Since he's not that in to anything athletic he was OK with missing out. We decided that instead of sitting around the house we would venture out of Satan's Pants and head south. TC had a test he was scheduled to take so we all went with and he dropped us at the "big" mall. This mall is usually awesome. It has my favorite stores, is clean and typically makes me happy. Today however, this was not the case.
I've haven't been this annoyed at a mall in a long time. First, it was so busy you would have thought it was Christmas at Perimeter mall in Atlanta. Second, the sales lady at Macy's was SO rude she should really be fired. I was going to make a purchase and she just walked away. Now I know I have two probably dirty children and I look a frumpy mess in my tacky maternity clothes, but come on. It was only Macy's for goodness sake! It's not like I was in my Target grubbies trying to buy shoes at Prada. It was MACY's. If I wasn't so tired I would send a tacky letter or email but after not even getting a coupon from Moe's I don't really see the point. Third, learn proper mall behavior. If you have to dig through your purse - step to the side. If you don't know where you're going - again step to the side. If your cruising for chicks or dudes do it some where other than the middle of the mall. If you don't have a stroller or a wheel chair don't take the elevator ESPECIALLY if the escalator is right beside it. There is no reason for 27 people to try and file in a tiny elevator when you could stand on the escalator and take a nice little ride up. I'm not asking you to run up the stairs. Just stand.
I know it's annoying to everyone else for a pregnant girl with a giant backside pushing a double stroller with a 7 year old lagging behind. However, I'm trying really hard to get where I'm going. I'm not going to stop in the middle of the aisle and have a lecture with my children or try and find my cell phone to make a call to their dad. When you have children you are usually on a mission. You need to get in, out and on with it. If you are at the mall to enjoy your day and spend as much time there as possible that is awesome. However, get out of the way. I swear I had a group of giggly girls stop right in front of me, take up the entire aisle and discuss if they wanted to go to Pottery Barn, Abercrombie or get a cookie. Do they really want me to plow them over with the Combi side by side? I think no - so move it or lose it bratness...
Other than that we had a nice day. We drove down and back in the rain, stopped at Trader Joe's (don't even get me started on that crazy place) and just enjoyed our day. We listened to the Georgia game on the radio (GO DAWGS!) which is always my favorite (NOT) and just had a lazy and rainy day. Sometimes that's just what you need.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Pitbulls with lipstick...

I never thought I would use this "rant" of a blog to discuss politics. People tune in to read about how much I hate Satan's Pants, how when I drink I'm a rock star and how happy I am that my children went back to school. However, right now I have some ranting to do regarding politics and I wanted to share with you.
First, I am not here to push my politics on you. You are entitled to your opinion or lack of one. You can choose to vote for whom ever you feel will run this country the best and will be the best president for the people. If you want to know my opinion I will tell you. However, I will not push it on you and don't want yours pushed on me. If your not comfortable talking about politics with me we can discuss how Brenda on 90210 2.0 looked rode hard and put up wet (just sayin...). If you want to tell me your opinion I will listen - I may disagree but I will listen. However, if you come at me with a stupid double standard or an idiot excuse I may get a bit Irish on you.
Regardless of my politics I enjoyed Sarah Palin's speech last night. I enjoyed the fact that she's feisty and seems to have her head on straight. What ticks me off are the people that say - "her voice is whiny", "she needs to concentrate on her family", or "she's a woman". These are the same people who were OK with Hillary's whiny voice, the lack of concentration from her on her family (hello Bill's cheated like 214 times) and again she's also a woman. Dislike Sarah Palin because you disagree with her views. Don't make up lame excuses because your ignorant. I guarantee if Hillary's daughter would have gotten pregnant at 17 it would have been A OK with the double standard people. However, since it's a Republican then she can't do her job well because she's failed at being a mother. Pish posh! You can raise your children to make good decisions and they may still go out and do something you don't agree with. Sarah Palin is standing by her daughter like a good mother should and that in turn will turn her daughter into a fine young woman/mother as well. Sometimes we're dealt hands we don't understand at the moment but end up being the biggest blessings. I'm pleased at how Sarah Palin is handing this. I would expect the same from Hillary if the shoe was on the other foot and I would hope that Republicans would back her up as well.
This idiot I was talking to the other day was obviously a Barack fan (that is not the reason he's an idiot). Anyway, he decided to tell me that he doesn't like Palin because she's a woman and women get PMS and you can't trust a woman running the country with PMS. GO TAKE A FLYING LEAP JACK ASS!!! That had to be the most obnoxious remark anyone has ever made. I've had PMS. It sucks. I've had cramps, been moody, cried like a baby and acted like a total bitch. However, never has it occurred to me to bomb Iran just because Aunt Flo's on her way. Whatever. So stupid...
I think the fact that Sarah Palin is a mom, a governor and an all around sharp lady makes her qualified for the job she is running for. If you don't think she's qualified then don't vote for her. Base your opinion on her politics not because she's a woman, mom, prone to getting her period, and has a pregnant teenage daughter.
That's it. Next time we'll talk about something festive like fact that you shouldn't be a mean mom and dress your child in beige socks with black tennis shoes. Just sayin...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Do ya'll remember that commercial where the dad is floating on his buggy through the Office Depot/Max picking up school supplies while his kids are sulking behind him and their playing "the most wonderful time of the year" Christmas carol? That's an awesome commercial! I wish they still had it playing on TV. However, instead of the dad it would be me and it would be my children sulking behind me. SCHOOL STARTED TODAY!!!!! HIP HIP HORRAY! I know it's mean of me to be this excited. I do miss my oldest while he's away. However, he gets an early release day every month, has two days off in October, several in November and like a week and a half off in December, so we'll have plenty of time to catch up and bond all before the end of 2008. The only thing that would make it all better is if the little one started school - HE STARTS NEXT FRIDAY!!! Granted he only goes 2 mornings a week, but that's better than nothing. That means every Wednesday until the caboose comes I will be able to run all my errands in record time ALL - BY - MYSELF!
Call me selfish if you must. I clearly don't care. This summer was the summer from HELL. I was sick as a dog and really needed the kids to be in school so I could be miserable by myself. Instead, I had them home bored. I'm sorry I totally lost mom of the year this summer, but maybe I can win it back now that they're in school. Here's hoping my names still on the ballot.
Last year at this time I was a little choked up about the first day of school. I worried about him, cried the night before and cried when he got on the bus. This year I'm equally as worried, sad to see him go but not a tear was shed. Not a single one. If I wasn't pregnant I would have celebrated with some margarita's. Check back next year - after a summer with three kids I may need to just upgrade to shots of tequila.