Thursday, July 31, 2008

Georgia on my mind..

I'm back in Satan's Pants after spending a week in Atlanta (aka home). It's always so nice to be home (even if it is 102 degrees in the shade), and I'm very sad to have to be back in the land of corn and poo.
While I was home we had pictures of the boys taken, ate, swam, ate, visited with friends and family (my nephew is precious and his selfish mother won't give him to me), ate and ate some more. I would feel bad about all the eating but I totally don't and I'll tell you why. In Satan's pants you can't find BBQ, decent peaches and watermelon (peaches from California that are shipped to the midwest are not peaches, they're devil fruit and I've told the grocer this and anyone buying them - true story), and my grandmother isn't here to make me chicken and dressing. I can't go to my favorite restaurants here (The Steamhouse Lounge - free advertisement just for you), and the food isn't made with love like my moms spaghetti and chocolate cake (and cupcakes but whatever - I'm eating for 7 here do don't judge).
When you live somewhere you don't realize how much you will miss the simple things like BBQ and Chick Fil-A that you don't even realize you like that much. When you move and can't get such deliciousness you miss it and therefore have to eat like a piggy when you go home. I'm sure if we ever move away from Satan's Pants I will miss - cheese...
Hopefully I'll have more fun and excitement to tell ya'll about soon. It was a pretty uneventful vacation which is the way it should be. I'm fat, pregnant and boring and totally OK with that. I'm tired right now so I'll have to think about some funny banter to grace you with later. Until then good bye and good luck...

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Heart and Hand...

The appointment went fine - eventually. I had a stinking suspicion that they weren't going to be able to find a heartbeat with the Doppler and I was right. I was nervous when I got there which made my blood pressure go up and I was super on edge. I snapped at the midwife that I had no desire to discuss my weight and pretty much filled her in on how much I dislike living in Satan's Pants. Great first impression (my other midwife was busy - whatever). Luckily being a midwife has taught her not only how to deliver babies, but how to deal with bratty moms.
After searching for the heartbeat for what felt like hours (possibly 5 minutes but it felt like an eternity), they decided that in order to make sure everything was OK I should really have an ultrasound. After getting gooed up again I was able to see the caboose floating and swimming around having a good good time. Baby was less than cooperative (imagine that) and didn't want to be still long enough to get a listen. We've now proven that baby is indeed related to his brothers. Finally baby settled down, we were able to take some pictures of baby hanging out with his hands by his head waving hello, and get a good read on the strong, loud, fast heartbeat of baby caboose.
I'm still not feeling the best. I'm tired most of the time but not super exhausted. I feel OK when I get up but slowly lose steam throughout the day. These things I can live with. However, by the afternoon my stomach hurts, my head hurts and I feel like I might throw up. Not to mention I become super moody, bitchy and down right mean. Not to the boys but more to my husband. I had some choice words for him the other day that he may or may not have deserved ( I can't remember and truly don't care). I'm really tired of feeling this way and would really like to feel more "normal" and get on with my life. We won't even discuss my face. I'll just say that I may need to call Jessica Simpson and order some of her Proactive.
Other than this not much else to report. It's a hot, humid lazy weekend. I need to clean - and I may or may not get to it. I need to do laundry for my trip home and I will probably take a nap. Super fun and exciting I know - jealous?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

When It Rains it Hails...

This week has actually not been too bad- as far as feeling bad goes. I'm not as nauseated, but I'm just as exhausted. I really need to get my energy up for my big va-cay to HOTlanta next week. I'm super excited to be heading south!! We have a lot planned in my short stay so I need to feel better. Can I get a whoo whoo!
Aside from feeling better everything else has gone wrong. First, the family vanster is in on the plan to ruin my life. Last week I replaced 4 tires. It needed to be done but wasn't until I was stuck on the side of the road with a flat. Nice. Now, the big blue bomb is in the shop getting it's air fixed and brakes fixed. So stupid. Not only is the van sick, my washing machine bit the dust last week as well. Sears brought me a brand new Maytag. So nice of them. I was OK not washing clothes but apparently my husband would like some clean underwear every now and again. Such a diva.
Since we're adding a third child to the family we're also in the market for some bunk beds for the boys. We all went to look Sunday so they could feel like they had a say in the purchase (they totally don't). We found a cute set with a full bed on the bottom and a twin on the top. When we have some cash we'll fix up the room and move the boys in together. This sounds easy enough right? Wrong! The little one has been angry at me for days because the bunk beds aren't here yet. Every hour on the hour I have to explain that money doesn't grow on trees and if he wants to replace the air in my van I'll be more than happy to buy him the damn bunk beds! OK, I'm not quite that mean (close though - I'm hormonal) but you get the point.
I'm off to the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully everything is good and baby is growing and healthy. I'll fill everyone in tomorrow. Peace out!
UPDATE: Just got a call from the diva himself. Looks like the air is $1100 to fix. Does anyone have a fan that hooks to the visor 'cause it looks like it's going to be a hot one here in Satan's Pants this summer. So stupid...

Friday, July 11, 2008

Motherhood

Maternity clothes are made for pregnant women by people who work for the devil. This, I believe is a fact. My "real" clothes are no longer working. I don't think that I should have be be nauseated, exhausted and wearing tight clothes. However, since I haven't told that many people about the caboose I really don't need a shirt that says "Baby on Board" or "It's not Easy being Queasy" (and yes, these tacky shirts do exist). So I went to the mommy maternity store in the mall yesterday afternoon. Everything was UGLY! First, I hate the shirts that tie in the back. If you want to scream "I'm pregnant" then buy those. If not then no thanks. Second, the t-shirts are small. Now, I know that the style right now in maternity is for the shirt to be tight on the belly so everyone can see how your innie bellybutton has become an outie. However, when you're not the worlds tiniest person and it's tight in the belly it also becomes tight on your rear end. You may as well iron on some letters that say "wide load coming through" - and believe me there is room. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I have to look ugly. Third, as I was checking out the shirts they had one in particular that caught my eye hanging above the checkout. It had a tie in the back, was tight in the front, and was PEACH! Yes, the same peach I wore in 7th grade with bunchy socks and a scrunchie that matched. I was appalled. I had to get out of that store as fast as I could. Who would wear that? I'll tell you who - tacky women in Satan's Pants that haven't left the year 1987.
The problem here is that there really isn't anywhere else other than the gross store in the mall that sells maternity clothes. I don't want to spend a fortune at the Pea in the Pod because you only wear these clothes for a short time and as I've said before - THIS IS IT! Plus, the maternity clothes I have from my first two are super ugly (why didn't anyone tell me the green gingham dress was awful). I can't do mail order because who knows what really fits. So, I'm in a bit of a pickle (get it pickle).
On the bright side I was able to sit through a cut and color the other day and my hair is fabulous. Too bad I don't have any clothes to match my hair and my vivacious personality...
XOXO - Fat Pregnant Girl...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

My so called life...

Someone on another blog I stalk from time to time had an entry about how busy her life has been lately and gave a week by week calendar of events. I thought this was pretty cute. She was exasperated by all the weddings, showers, parties, beach trips and beer she needed to consume (party on Garth). To make her, and other super fun girls in tiny little dresses feel better, I thought I would give you an example of my morning sickness/pregnancy calendar thus far:
Week of June 9th - Thought I was going to die...
Week of June 16th - Knew I was going to die...
Week of June 23rd - Wanted to go ahead and die...
Week of June 30th - Was gassy - Thought the dog died...
I'm assuming this will go on for the duration of my pregnancy. I don't feel that there is an end in site. Feeling better and not wanting to sleep all day would be super fantastic. However, I've never felt this bad for this long EVER (yes this is when you feel sorry for me and send me fudge).
So, as to not bore you with the rest of the year ( see above) we will skip to 2009:
Some random week in January: Had baby - FINALLY feel better!
Some random week in February: Have three kids! Now what the HELL do I do....