It's getting cold here in Satan's Pants - and we all know how I feel about that. I think it stinks! I missed summer this year being sick and immobile, tried to enjoy fall until the credit crisis hit, the democrats took over all aspects of Washington and a recession freaked me out to the point that I've read EVERY report imaginable trying to figure out when this will end and what I can do to keep afloat (apparently nothing - the reports have titles like Worst Christmas Season ever, Dismal 2009, We're all going down blah blah blah). It's been very difficult to become motivated to do anything when I have to tote around my laptop to check the DOW and see what CNN and Fox news has for my reading enjoyment...
Enough about that. So, this year I'm as big as a house and cold. Obviously my coat doesn't fit. I was going to buy a bigger size but I wasn't positive that would work or be worth the money. I'm not sure how much bigger I'll get (apparently 10 more cm according to earth mother mid-wife) or if a size or two will work (I refuse to buy a coat bigger than that - I have my limits). I also don't want to waste the money on a coat that I'll only wear for a couple month. Instead of a coat then my mom talked me in to buying a cape. Can you say RIDICULOUS! I wore it for the first time yesterday. I'm one tam away from looking like my grandmother! TC called me Count Duku, and I think the boys are discussing if I look like Batman or the Joker. To make matters worse, they've only seen the black side. This bad boy is reversible - it's bright red on the other side. If ANYONE says anything about me looking like a Christmas ball if I wear the red side I swear they'll regret taking the breath to say that. I'm the worst pregnant woman ever and I don't need the criticism from people I may or may not even like just because I look ridiculous. However, I stimulated the economy by buying that heap of fabric so stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
I'm putting up the Christmas decorations this weekend. Don't judge! TC is out of town and it seemed like the perfect time to get it done. I'm not putting up the tree or garland yet - I'll wait until my dad gets here next weekend and give him a project - like fix us some coffee while we watch TC put up the tree :) I remember a lot of swear words as a youngster while my dad fought with the tree and the lights. I think it's only fair that he is around to observe the same from TC. Although, TC would say shucks or crumps or something polite like that. He's nice and I become impatient and start throwing things and yelling. Maybe this year I won't have the energy to throw things. I've been told I'm no longer allowed to yell. Whatever... I'll stop yelling when you move me someplace warm and happy where the people say ya'll and ma'am. Until then cover your flippin ears and fix the economy!
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2 comments:
Loved this.
I'm sure Jill's told you. It's as cold as a witch's boobie in a brass bra here in the ATL. Not fun. Especially in downtown with the wind whipping through the buildings.
Why can't you yell? Is that something that comes with pregnancy?? I anticipate yelling more and of course, throwing more things when that time comes for me. Please tell me this is a TC rule that you're choosing to agree with as long as he does whatever you tell him to do.
Peaches does not really yell, she talks through her nose so I may have to side with Meow Mix on this one...sometimes.
It is very cold - but I looked and not Satan's Pants cold. And I am not sure why you just did not ask your chubby but equally as witty sister for a jacket while carrying Caboose. Heck, Mom could have just sent you the black cape with the big BATMAN in sequins on the back. The boys would LOVE that.
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