We are heading into our busy season here in Satan's Pants. Things seem to pick up in the summer rather than slow down - possibly because we only have 3 months of decent weather so we have to cram everything in now. It's just started and I'm already exhausted and annoyed and here's why:
PTO - stands for parent teacher obnoxious. The oldest is going to a brand new, never used school next year. I thought I would go to the first official PTO meeting and see what big exciting things they had planned. NOTHING! They have nothing planned. They only have a geeky set of women who think they're special running a useless meeting and second-ing motions. NO ONE CARES! I wanted to find out how I could help. Now I'm thinking of sending the boys away to military school to avoid listening to the dribble coming out of the mouths of ladies with bad hair and orange shoes (yes my friends she was wearing orange patent leather shoes- need I say more).
CLOTHES - It's still not warm enough to send the kids to school in shorts. However, cords and sweaters are a bit much. So, pants with short sleeve shirts is fine - when you're a boy. If you're a hip mom of two you want to look good. If you're a semi-cool mom of two with a unusually large hips and a gut it's almost impossible to look good. Today I had a little time to myself so I went shopping. Found nothing. I can't wear the cute little short skirts all the younger girls are wearing. I despise shorts and think the government should ban them for women over a certain age and certainly those of us over a certain weight. I'm tired of capri's and a dress is just not practical for everyday wear. So, if you don't mind I will wear my pajamas. They're comfortable and they fit. Get over it.
SCHEDULE: I just realized that I've totally gone over board with the activities this summer for the kids. The oldest has soccer twice a week until the middle of July, summer school every morning for 6 weeks (super fun classes but still), swim lessons, and vacation bible school. Yes, I know the kids are going to be exhausted. What about me though? Do you realize how much effort it takes to drag kids to all these different activities? I'm getting tired just thinking about it. I think they need to buck up and walk, or call a taxi, or find my broom and fly on over.
I will stop for now. However, I'm still just so annoyed by the orange patent leather shoes and the size of my butt. My hair dresser is leaving and moving far far away (lucky brat), I need to go to the dentist and get my eyes checked, the oldest went to "yellow light" today and school and the youngest thought it was appropriate to spank his mother when I wouldn't give him a chocolate chip cookie right before bed. So, I will continue to dress my kids in winter clothes, starve myself so I can find something to wear, and try and be nice to the lady with orange shoes... Never going to happen.
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2 comments:
In the famous words of our mother - Jessica you should be nice to everyone.
Also, maybe in the right shade of orange patent leather shoes may not be so bad.
You should be a leader...plan fun things. I love theme parties.
It is amazing how much time it takes to haul kids here, there, and everywhere. Not only do you have the drive time but you also have the getting ready to go time and the settling back in time. We had activities 4 afternoons a week, thankfully we are down to two until summer camp starts in a month!
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