Gym - bore - yuck

I'm so tired of going to the gym! It's evil and must be destroyed. I try and go everyday that I don't work and I hate it. I dislike sweating, I dislike looking like a fool on the treadmill because I can only run for 7 minutes (and I'm sure I start making crazy noises at around the 5 min. mark). Also, no matter what you've been told you don't feel that much better when you leave - you just feel sticky and tired. The only thing OK about it is I have an excuse to look like a schlep in sweats and a baseball cap. I've been trying to diet and get in shape and I figured the best place to do that was at the gym - Whatever. To make matters worse, my husband wants us to run a 5K before the end of 2008. Insane! I can only run for 7 minutes - not a 7 minute mile but 7 minutes of pushing myself at a very slow pace to finish a half mile before I pass out or scream in pain. So stupid..
The only thing worse than the gym right now is clothes shopping. Today I went to the mall to try and find some cute items to wear this summer. Again - DEVIL! I think the mall and the gym get together every so often and come up with ways to torture me. I am only willing to go up to a certain size and if that doesn't work then I say to heck with it. Just so you designers know - if you would make the clothes bigger, but put a smaller number in the back I would pay double! If not it looks like I'm going to have to wear my gym clothes everywhere and that's just embarrassing. I feel confident that even Satan's Pants gets too warm in the summer for velour track suits. Or. maybe I'll have to resort to shopping at Midwest Tent and Awning. I hope they have something in red.