Monday, June 29, 2009

God Bless America...

We've started our summer off to a good start. The oldest has been in summer school taking tennis since school was out. This weekend we'll head to the cottage to visit with my husbands Godparents and their family for our traditional 4th of July extraveganza. We hit the small town parade and then have dinner later with family friends. I enjoy this tradition. However, I think I have a different version of tradition than everyone else. In my mind tradition means getting together with family and friends - every year - and every year celebrating with the parade and dinner. It does not mean to me that we have to sit in the same place at the parade, serve the same cocktail (always and bloody mary and don't EVEN think about something fruity) and at dinner eat the same thing every year whether anyone enjoys it or not. For some reason someone told the host that his baked beans were delicious and his chicken was juicy. They flat lied to his face and now I have to pretend I like it every year. The hostess makes a flag cake every year. I get that it's the 4th and that's appropriate but not everyone enjoys a cake made of cool whip. Serve something chocolate for those of us who have a sweeter tooth.
Yes, I've offered to bring something to the party and every year I hear - No we have it under control. I even feel like I have the same exact conversations with the guests every year. I guarantee there's a lady there who's going to ask me where I'm from and do I like it here. Maybe this year I'll change my answer.
Now there are things that we have every year at every party for every occasion. There's my moms chocolate cake for example. It's delicious so there's no need to deviate from perfection. However, I've heard through the grape vine that some people are getting tired of that (blasphemous). Just think haters, if you had to have the exact same meal with the cake every single time. GRRR!
I realize I'm a brat. They don't even have to invite me over and truth be told some years they probably don't want to. I have a slight habit of being moody and I tend not to hold back on that. I'm not ugly but it gets to be a long day and by the time dinner comes charred off the grill I've usually had enough. However, they're wonderful people so I'll try and keep it in check. Or I'll just drink all the bloody marys...
If I don't have time to post before the holiday I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe 4th of July. God Bless America! (By the way - we have to sing that every year too before we're allowed cool whip cake)...

Monday, June 15, 2009

I heart Edward!

I'm completely and irrevocably in love with Edward. I admit it - I can't help that I would cheat on my husband with a 17 year old FICTIONAL vampire. I'm putting him at the top of my laminated "list". My sister is buying me a shirt that says "Edward can break my bed anytime". BHAHAHA (book 4 honeymoon). I know it's dirty. Deal...
I finished the Twilight saga last week and I am so sad that it had to end. The author needs to keep writing the books so I can continue to be entertained. I mean they're immortal right? There has to be a lifetime worth of drama to write about. Maybe she can write about how that sparkly vampire cheats on his wife with a 34 year old stay at home mom of three. Swoon...
My husband is concerned - and rightfully so. It's not normal. He became the most concerned when I started book 1 all over again after finishing the saga. I think he's going to have me committed.
I think this is because I'm 1) old 2) bored 3) lonely and 4) apparently in the need of a secret crush and since Edward is fictional then Rob Pattinson will have to suffice. Jon Bon Jovi hasn't called yet and I've been secretly in love with him since 6th grade (now I'm really showing my age) and Keith Urban is still married to that skinny bitch with the personality of a Dorito so he's on notice as well.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the rest of my summer. I'm so sad to see Edward ride off into the sunset with his debbie downer wife. I'm hoping this phase will end and I can get back to being the mom and wife I was born to be. But until then you can find me on the Twilight fan pages chillaxing with the rest of my 14 year old Twilight peeps. Peace out...

Monday, June 8, 2009

Crash. Fly. Cold as crap!

I know I've become the worlds worst blogger. I suppose things were just going too well and I didn't have anything to gripe about. Things were just swimming along and I was blissfully unaware of all things negative. HOWEVER, things can change on a dime and now I'm one pissed off peach!
TC and I went to the beach last week. We had a great time. It was so nice to get away for a weekend sans kids and kick it 27 style in Destin. We layed by the pool, drank Coronas with lime and ate delicious sea food. However, this little second honeymoon was bookended by total crap. Before we left I wrecked the car. I know - the horror. The poor precious silver mini van was crushed by a 17 year old in a crapmobile trying to get back to school before 5th period. Who's fault was it? HIS! Although legally it was mine - DEVIL! When we got home from Florida we received word that this little fender bender actually totaled the van and I no longer have transportation around Satan's pants. Now Mr. 17 is going to have to sell me his hooptie so I can get from point A to point B (apparently without the fancy doors that open with the push of a button - so makes me want to cry).
As we were leaving for Destin we rolled up to the airport 29 minutes before our flight was taking off. Departing at 6:50 a.m. and traveling through the worlds smallest airport one would think this was acceptable. Apparently no. We missed to cut off to have our luggage placed under the plane. So Stupid! We had to put all of my stuff (from my giant suitcase) into TC's tiny suitcase. I had my clothes, carried on my makeup and bought toiletries in Destin. However, I did not have a blow dryer. Oh. My. Heavens - what a freaking mess. No blow dryer in Florida - talk about a frizzed out hunk of a straw. Needless to say there are no pictures of me from the trip. If there was it would be of a frizzy mess with her middle finger waving hello.
On the way back we made it to the airport in plenty of time. However, we sat at the airport for 5 hours waiting for glue to dry. I'm totally serious. There was something on the wing that needed to be glued and since it was raining the glue wouldn't dry. I read almost half of a 700 page book (by the way - I heart Edward) and watched Fox news before we ever got out. We finally made it to Atlanta, then had a layover in Detroit where I almost had to bitch slap a sassy lady who thought she owned the moving sidewalk, and then finally got a flight out to Satan's pants. We were suppose to be home at 3 p.m. and in time for soccer. Instead we got home at midnight and just a little frazzled. The airlines are EVIL and they need to be beaten.
Since all of this I've just been sitting at home watching the rain - It's 55 degrees in June here and I'm more than a little ticked off about it. I understand the south is hotter than blue blazes right now but come on - 55! That's just evil. I hate this place...